In her blog titled “The Diary of a Nursing Student,” a newly inducted honor society member seeks to document her progress and “allow others to share in the joys of nursing.” In this posting, reproduced with her permission, she looks at the profession’s dark side and tries to find a silver lining.
By Jessica L. Daigle
My passion for nursing has become rather subdued lately, and I know exactly why. I’ve gone back and forth as to whether or not to write about it, as this blog is primarily meant to be inspiring. However, I felt that to leave it out would not do my blog or my take on this profession any justice. As with everything in life, we must take the good with the bad. Right?
Working in the hospital (and I won’t say which one) has become a tedious task lately. I try and make the most of every shift, committing myself to the work that needs to be done. I see my job as both a challenging and overwhelming learning experience, in both good ways and bad. The only problem is that, lately, the environment in which I work has become quite different from what I would consider respectful.
There is certainly a lot to be said about the type of person you are forced to become when you choose this profession. As of late, I am experiencing the need to thicken my skin a good 10 layers simply to get through a shift. I become unhappy before a shift, nervous about the way I will be treated by my co-workers. Considering the amount of time I spend on a shift, it is disappointing that my work environment is not more pleasant. Not even a month ago, I was excited to go in and work with patients. I now find that my spirited excitement for working with patients has been tempered by new knowledge—developed over time—of the harsh realities associated with helping sick people each day.
As with everything in life, we must take the good with the bad. Right?You never really know what you’re going to get in terms of the team you work with. There are a lot of nurses I look up to and respect, and many I would like to learn from. Some, however, are abrasive, never happy with the work you do or how hard you try, and they make sure you know this, too. At the same time, there are others who make a point of coming up to you at the end of the day and saying, “Hey, I appreciate all your help today.”
Dissatisfied with the environment created by my co-workers, I confided in a nurse on another unit, whom I greatly respect and learn a lot from. Her advice was simple: “When you care for the critically ill, you learn how to make tough decisions, and how to fight for your tough decisions. When I was on the floor, I didn’t often question what the doctor said, but down here, the nurse plays a big role in patient care. To make yourself heard, you learn to become abrasive and speak up.”
She told me not to take the way nurses were treating me personally. “They likely don’t even know they are behaving that way toward you. It may simply be because of how they are.” I’m glad I spoke to her about this because she put a lot of things into perspective for me. I understand that, as a young and spirited nursing student, it is difficult for me to see this profession for what it really is. I may have been viewing nursing from behind a veil that has kept me from seeing the negative. As I grow and learn and progress in the field, everything becomes more real to me. This includes the dangerous acuity of the patients I care for, as well as the personalities of my co-workers.
It is said that nurses eat their young, and they do, with A1 Steak Sauce, ketchup or whatever condiment they prefer. I will not be cooked medium rare and handed to them on a plate with a side of fries. My recent experiences have taught me that, now more than ever, it is a good time for me to develop a thick skin. This will be difficult for me at first as I have been a student my entire life. I aim to please others, although I am learning that, if I am to do any good for my patients—and for myself—I need to become a stronger person. So, from that perspective, I thank my co-workers for what I consider, right now, a negative experience. Already, it is helping me learn and grow.
There is always a silver lining. RNL
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| Jessica L. Daigle |
Jessica L. Daigle graduates in May 2009 with a BSN from the University of Massachusetts Lowell. On her 22nd birthday, she was one of 18 students from the school who were inducted into the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Recalling the ceremony, she wrote: “While I sat there and listened to the speakers, I couldn’t help but reflect on the direction my life is taking. After graduation, I will jump right into a career of critical care. I plan to be a leader in all aspects of my life. Currently, I am a student leader and role model through the Student Nurses' Association. I plan to pursue a master’s degree, whether it’s as a critical-care nurse practitioner, a clinical nurse specialist or even a nurse anesthetist. I plan to hold multiple leadership roles as I advance in my career and can see myself obtaining a PhD one day.”
Reproduced with permission from “The Diary of a Nursing Student.”
